I killed 7 people because you didn't ....

I killed 7 people because you …

I just watched a news program where Todd Kohlhepp admitted killing 7 people. And he admitted to his mother, why he did it.

Here is what she said ...  'I gave him everything, everything!"

Why did he kill seven people? They embarrassed him. He was trying to buy a motorcycle and the people selling him the bike made fun of him. That's what he felt. One quote that Todd made I have to share is "They made me feel ..."

And isn't this the mantra for all people... they made me feel. You made me feel...

As a 'Mental Prosperity' executive coach I train people in many areas. Bullying is only one. But it is an important one. And I teach that no one makes you ‘feel’ unless you choose to let them control your life and emotions. You have the ability to choose. I teach people this every day and it works.

It is important because Bullying is an important part of our lives. Don't ask me why, I am not a psychiatrist but I am a 'Mental Prosperity' executive coach. I teach people how to communicate. How to achieve greater success with people whether it's employees, managers, family. And bullying exists in almost every area of our lives. 

And what this Mother did not understand was a simple parenting concept; if you give your child everything they most likely won't understand most things. That sounds rather broad but they won't understand much of what life is about.

I worked summers on my uncles farm in Iowa and one of the many lessons I learned was simple - it was a chicken lesson and it went like this.

The first time I watched a chick breaking out of its shell I reached in to help. As I reached my uncle stopped me and said not to help. I was confused. Don't we all want help? He said, if you help a chick break out of its shell it will not become strong enough to live. Since then, I have heard that from experts all across America. Creatures and humans need that early struggle to gain strength in order to become strong enough to walk and get to the real food source or they will die.

Here is a real life example of what Mrs. Kohlhepp didn't understand. Maybe of what America has forgotten when we give medals and certificates to ALL of the children who play a sport. You were good enough to play.

But playing isn't enough. There are lessons to learn in all sporting events. I remember how disappointed I was when my son would rather just stand and daydream rather than chase the soccer ball to show he was an athlete. What I learned was, that was not an interest for my son. He could care less about soccer. Whoop dee doo. He got a certificate for participating that year. But he learned very little from soccer. Well, for a four year old, what was I hoping he would learn? Except that he learned that he and I got to play a lot more by kicking that ball back and forth in the back yard. He learned his dad loved him. But it wasn’t from me pushing him to run or yelling at him for not participating.

Lessons I taught him because I knew he had to learn as he grew were up how to handle bullies of all kinds. Bullies who physically abused him so he learned how to stand up to the bullies. He learned over the years about the emotional and verbal abuse bullies could heap upon you. (we have all felt bullied, right?). And he learned when he came crying home to me that people bullied for lots of reasons.

Maybe they were bullied, by parents, other kids, friends, relatives, teachers... and he learned how to COPE. He learned how loved he was and nothing anybody said would change that he was loved. 

He learned that he should sometimes listen to the bullies and see if what they say has any truth? Then GROW from that.

He learned that there are many insecure people out there who must yell and scream, punch and push because they can't feel like they are wrong. He was taught that being WRONG IS OK.

And he learned that bullying others does not win you anything except maybe that others will now fear you instead of caring about you.

This man killed seven people because he wasn’t taught how to COPE with people who want to hurt or belittle him. He wasn’t taught how he had real value to himself, his family, to the world no matter what else happens. He wasn’t trained to hear it, see it, and deal with it. Mrs. Kohlhepp didn't help her child by GIVING HIM EVERYTHING.

Bullying will always be around. You need toteach and be taught how to deal with bullies. Don't fear them. Don't give them value in your life. Simply be able to look at them and feel sorry for them if that is the only way they can feel good about themselves.

Steve Sapato - the most famous unfamous speaker in America.

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