I just had to deal with a bully... have you?

It is interesting to me that we spend so much time lecturing bullies how they shouldn't bully. That's like telling people who shout not to shout. Because right now and probably for some time to come that's who they will be and we won't change that with one lecture or one go sit in the corner.

What does change them? Nothing. Deal with it. Nothing. It will take counseling, therapy and surrounding them with superior people to make any significant change. Do you have that much time?

Well here is what I know. We can help the bullied people much faster, easier and with more wonderful results because they want the help.

I just took a phone call from someone who wanted something. They first asked. Then they gave me what had happened in the past. Then they told what they could do for me. Then they said what they had done fore the last person. And each time I said I want to go in a different direction. I want to try something else. I need to see what is going to happen. And each time instead of listening, hearing, this person kept pushing their agenda. Kept pushing what they wanted. Kept pressuring me knowing that I would give in, give up or let them do what they wanted to do.

Instead, I stayed strong. Knew what I wanted. Knew what I was looking for, hoping for and desired. I knew the direction I wanted to go and it wasn't in the same direction as they wanted me to go.

But like most bullies until I stood my ground, until I said No! Until I was strong enough to face them down they would keep pushing.

And that is what we need to teach our children, our friends, our associates our families. Stand and be strong.

Bullies exist because good people stay silent. Bullies exist because good people step aside. Bullies exist because good people don't say NO!

Whether it's on the playground in grade school, high school, where you work, where you play, or your own home we have to learn to say, NO.

And when we learn to say No and mean it then we can face up to the bully, the situation and make our world a better place. And when we stand up it will encourage others and maybe, one day, No More Bullies will become a movement and then, the bullies will be afraid of us.

Now the gift you are given is this, use positive words to talk to everyone. Encourage everyone. Lift them up. Give them praise. Empower your children, your spouse, your friends, your coworkers and help get them strong in their minds and hearts and then they will one day be strong enough to say, no, you can't say that, do that or make me afraid any more.

Bullies exist only because the good people haven't learned to say, No more.

Steve Sapato is an I am an expert in Mental Prosperity and bringing you to the place you always wanted to be. www.mentalprosperityblog.com

Bullies will always exist. Now what?

Yes, I said it! Bullies will always exist! Bullies are a fact of life.  Bullies are us and and sometimes we are them.
Now what? Now is when we start teaching our children, our friends, our co-workers how to deal with bullying. What are our choices? Chances? Odds? What should we do?
One thing I know we cannot do in today's society is to count on others for help. Once upon a time if we were in trouble in America we could count on people to come to our rescue. Now it is the rare breed to stands out and helps someone else. We have been programmed and scared into thinking that if we help we will be the victim. We have been scared into thinking that if I stop to help that person who's car broke down that their friends will jump out of the bushes and beat me, rape me rob me.

So? Without someone to help us, how do we deal with bullies? We do it through our own power. Through self empowerment. Through the power of US!

I know, stupid isn't it. How will I, a girl, a small guy, stand up to the bullying tactics of two three or four others.
We do it by knowing who we are and recognizing in them the weaknesses that cause them to be bullies. By sometimes doing something as simple as, standing up, looking them in the eyes and seeing the morons they are and then turning and walking away.
Sometimes it will be that we will be the hero and when we see bullying we will stand next to the person being bullied and with the power of two we can face down the bullies or we might just say to one another, hey! This place isn't that great, how about we go to another place. And we leave again.

That tactic makes the bullied person feel supported and not alone.

The people who commit suicide, in my opinion, have significant other problems in their lives in order to commit suicide but the fact that the bullying pushed them over the edge is what we focus on.

But the truth is, if we allow ourselves to be bullied we lose self respect and with the loss of that self respect come other issues and where does it stop? Or will it actually promote us or the children we interact with to become bullies.

So again, what is the answer? Self empowerment, support, banding together, and sometimes even facing the bullies down so we know we can be in charge of our own lives once again.

What will you do the next time you are bullied or see someone being bullied? I hope you will look deep into your soul and make it a point to help or overcome and know that you are still a valued person with things to offer this world that the bullies will never understand.

Why Bullies?

It seems many of us are born to be bullies because we bully people from a very early age. But the truth is, bullying is learned just like everything else we do. Sometimes there are psychological or mental problems that cause us to develop with certain traits but most of the people learn to become bullies because of how they are treated.

Why do bullies exist? Because the strong do dominate our little physical world until the intelligent can figure out a way to stop from being bullied. I am sure clubs were discovered to beat the bigger caveman who was always the stronger man and always got his way. Then along came all of the other inventions that make the smaller man into the bully by way of those same inventions. And the reason again is that, if we are treated a certain way we will become a certain way.

So why do bullies still exist? because we continue not to train all of our people from infancy how they should treat others. We don't teach them how to relate, interact, communicate. We don't teach them how to succeed in negotiations and how important it is to be able to give and take to achieve maximum results. We should be teaching children what a loving relationship looks like in kindergarten and elementary school and on into high school and even college. We should be training the children on how to succeed and how to love and how to manifest goodness and greatness through cooperation.

And still, because of our innate nature some bullies would still exist but what they would find is that they would not be in power like they are in today's world. They would not stand a chance against the bond of the group and they would find themselves outside the circle instead of in control of the little circle the command by their bullying.

And I recently read some things about bad language and it reminded me once again how we lack the skills to develop much of this. It was about a school book that contained bad language and yet it was allowed to be used in grade school and the majority of thought on the subject was, "they will hear, already hear language and words like that. What's the big deal?"

And the big deal is, we don't expect more out of one another as much as we settle for less. We don't expect the cream of the crop as much as we will settle for the dregs and say, this is acceptable because it exists this way and we should accept it as it is.

The problem with accepting things as they are is that we will always settle for a little less each time. We will always allow the circumstance to digress a little each time. We will always continue to fall a little further from the pinnacle and keep telling ourselves, well, the last person stopped here to it's ok if I don't make it to where they stopped.

And that is where and why we find that bullies still exist and will continue to exist. We don't expect them not to.

Steve Sapato is a speaker and author on Bullying from schools to offices and also teaches how to become a Great Manager to corporations looking to excel.