I killed 7 people because you didn't ....

I killed 7 people because you …

I just watched a news program where Todd Kohlhepp admitted killing 7 people. And he admitted to his mother, why he did it.

Here is what she said ...  'I gave him everything, everything!"

Why did he kill seven people? They embarrassed him. He was trying to buy a motorcycle and the people selling him the bike made fun of him. That's what he felt. One quote that Todd made I have to share is "They made me feel ..."

And isn't this the mantra for all people... they made me feel. You made me feel...

As a 'Mental Prosperity' executive coach I train people in many areas. Bullying is only one. But it is an important one. And I teach that no one makes you ‘feel’ unless you choose to let them control your life and emotions. You have the ability to choose. I teach people this every day and it works.

It is important because Bullying is an important part of our lives. Don't ask me why, I am not a psychiatrist but I am a 'Mental Prosperity' executive coach. I teach people how to communicate. How to achieve greater success with people whether it's employees, managers, family. And bullying exists in almost every area of our lives. 

And what this Mother did not understand was a simple parenting concept; if you give your child everything they most likely won't understand most things. That sounds rather broad but they won't understand much of what life is about.

I worked summers on my uncles farm in Iowa and one of the many lessons I learned was simple - it was a chicken lesson and it went like this.

The first time I watched a chick breaking out of its shell I reached in to help. As I reached my uncle stopped me and said not to help. I was confused. Don't we all want help? He said, if you help a chick break out of its shell it will not become strong enough to live. Since then, I have heard that from experts all across America. Creatures and humans need that early struggle to gain strength in order to become strong enough to walk and get to the real food source or they will die.

Here is a real life example of what Mrs. Kohlhepp didn't understand. Maybe of what America has forgotten when we give medals and certificates to ALL of the children who play a sport. You were good enough to play.

But playing isn't enough. There are lessons to learn in all sporting events. I remember how disappointed I was when my son would rather just stand and daydream rather than chase the soccer ball to show he was an athlete. What I learned was, that was not an interest for my son. He could care less about soccer. Whoop dee doo. He got a certificate for participating that year. But he learned very little from soccer. Well, for a four year old, what was I hoping he would learn? Except that he learned that he and I got to play a lot more by kicking that ball back and forth in the back yard. He learned his dad loved him. But it wasn’t from me pushing him to run or yelling at him for not participating.

Lessons I taught him because I knew he had to learn as he grew were up how to handle bullies of all kinds. Bullies who physically abused him so he learned how to stand up to the bullies. He learned over the years about the emotional and verbal abuse bullies could heap upon you. (we have all felt bullied, right?). And he learned when he came crying home to me that people bullied for lots of reasons.

Maybe they were bullied, by parents, other kids, friends, relatives, teachers... and he learned how to COPE. He learned how loved he was and nothing anybody said would change that he was loved. 

He learned that he should sometimes listen to the bullies and see if what they say has any truth? Then GROW from that.

He learned that there are many insecure people out there who must yell and scream, punch and push because they can't feel like they are wrong. He was taught that being WRONG IS OK.

And he learned that bullying others does not win you anything except maybe that others will now fear you instead of caring about you.

This man killed seven people because he wasn’t taught how to COPE with people who want to hurt or belittle him. He wasn’t taught how he had real value to himself, his family, to the world no matter what else happens. He wasn’t trained to hear it, see it, and deal with it. Mrs. Kohlhepp didn't help her child by GIVING HIM EVERYTHING.

Bullying will always be around. You need toteach and be taught how to deal with bullies. Don't fear them. Don't give them value in your life. Simply be able to look at them and feel sorry for them if that is the only way they can feel good about themselves.

Steve Sapato - the most famous unfamous speaker in America.

www.mentalprosperityblog.com

Rice-a-wrongy! Ray Rice is out of the Baltimore Ravens lineup, let's keep him out of football

Yes, you are reading it from me. Ray Rice, the unprofessional football player that punched his girlfriend and knocked her out, then drug her unceremoniously partially out of the elevator has been fired from the Baltimore Ravens team! YAY! Ravens!!

It's about time we started standing up for each other and stopped allowing bullying. Now by this same situation, that same girlfriend that he knocked out married him two months later. Yes, I know, you can't fix how some people think. Abuse is almost an illness and some people, while they don't like it, allow it because it's still better than being unloved.

Yes, as a relationship guru with a couple books out, see The Twenty on Amazon, this is not love. Certainly not the love I want to share with someone. Pushing me around or screaming at me or punching me, hitting me or hurting me in any form. But... people allow it. Some prefer it.

But that is NOT the hero I want my kids or grandkids to watch on TV. A bully is still a bully no matter the age or situation. Stop all bullying! I want upstanding men, MEN, who know how to treat a lady and how to love their partner and how to show love to their fans.

Real Men know these things while bullies will stand up and rant about 'well you don't know what she did' or what led up to this or all the other BS that people will say.

Here's the real men story, if your female partner is treating you that bad, walk away. Love is never enough to put up with any abuse. I know, some will say but, but, but...

But nothing! The Ravens did the right thing. Let's stand up and say THANK YOU! and let's give our kids real positive mentors to aspire to!

Mental Prosperity

Bullying disguise for Halloween? Oh, it's a practical joke.

Bullying disguise for Halloween? Oh, it's a practical joke and I thought you were bullying me!

Yes, some people still try use the ‘ joke’ disguise to hide their bullying. It is sad and for some reason people use that ruse to do mean and cruel things to others.

It is one area that seems to stand alone. After the morons who do or say these things to others they stand back and say, aw come on! It was a joke!

But a joke is something that makes people laugh, even the person that the joke is played on. I watch stupid things, one that comes to mind is Jackass type of pranks. But these are played upon people of their own group, people who expect to be pranked. If those same jokes were played upon unsuspecting people they would not be funny, they would be painful, mean and abusive. I am not sure they aren’t to those people involved but they all seem to laugh and ask for more.

But how about how we treat others. Practical jokes indeed… a practical joke of pulling someone’s chair out from under them… seems funny but what if that person fell and got injured? Then not so funny. What about the report from KTLA News in Mississippi about the autistic kid who wanted to take  ALS Ice Bucket challenge and ‘friends’ dumped urine, spit and cigarettes on him instead.

Funny?

Here is the test… if the same thing were done to you that you are going to do to someone else, would you think it was funny? Would you want it done to you? Would you feel humiliated? Upset? Angry? Dejected?

If so, then why would you do it to anyone else?

Practical jokes are great things as long as they don’t ridicule, abuse or demean the person you are pranking.

If they do, then you are just bullying someone to make yourself feel smarter or better. And for you, I truly feel sad. You are not the kind of person most of us would like to be around and I am willing to bet you are not a positive thinker or even very happy in your heart.

I am Steve Sapato and I believe our lives are meant to encourage and help each other. And I teach this through my course on Mental Prosperity via my blog at www.mentalprosperityblog.com 

Bullying is for sissies~

Bullying... what an interesting topic - who has not been a victim of bullying either as a child, teenager or adult in todays corporate world? But how do we deal with bullies? How dow we stop bullying? How can we prevent bullying? Hpw can we protect our children and ourselves from being bullied? I know how because~ Once upon a time there was a young man who was bullied by older kids. He would go to school and on the playground the oder boys would push him around and take the basketball from him and dare him to do anything about it. He didn't. As the boy grew he found himself being bullied by may other boys. One day as he was roller skating at the local rink he met a girl named Debby. As he skated around a boy skated up to him and asked, do you know Debby? His thoughts raced ahead of his tongue and he thought, yes I just met her but all he managed to utter was "Yes!..." when the other boy hit him and knocked him down. Confused he got up and the boy asked again, do you know Debby? He was going to explain how he just met her but the words that fell out of his now bleeding and cut mouth was “yes…” before the older boy hit him again. Ready this time, he didn’t fall down but instead simply looked incredulously at the older boy as the older boy asked once again, do you know Debby? This time his mind was working under a now corrected assumption of results and he responded, “No.” the boy smiled and skated away. As he was picked up from the skating rink by his father he was asked, ‘what does the other boy look like?’ and all he was able to say was, ‘I didn’t even hit back.’ His father was disappointed and said to him, ‘next time you hit back!’ and he mumbled, ‘ok.’ The next week at school he was in the basement level of his high school and using the bathroom when another boy walked up to him, stood looking at him asked ‘Do you know Debby?’ Knowing this whole scenario his mind played it all out and he said “No!” The older bully had come looking for a target to pick on and the answer did not matter so he screamed ‘Liar!’ and punched the boy in the face regardless of his answer, knocking his head into the concrete wall and sending him spinning onto the floor. When the boy got home with a new black and blue cheek and swollen ear his dad asked, ‘what does the other boy look like?’ and the boy said, ‘I managed to pee on his shoe.’ His dad laughed and then said, ‘We are going to work on your self defense skills’. The next week his dad said ‘well you know how it feels to get hit, you know how bad you feel afterwards and especially how bad you feel when you know you might be a target for the next bully who comes along. Are you tired of being bullied?’ and the boy said rather sheepishly, ‘yes.’ And his dad began his lessons on how to take care of himself and his dad explained, ‘Most bullies will keep bullying you until you give them a reason to stop.’ A couple weeks later the original bully saw him at the high school football game, the boy saw him coming and tried to avoid him but there is no stopping a bully. The older boy walked up and said, ‘So, do still know Debby?’ Without missing a beat, without hesitating, learning all that his dad had taught him the boy looked up and at the older boys smile of knowing, and hit him as hard as he could right in his nose. The older boy was used to hitting but not being hit and he fell hard backward with blood running from his nose and the young boy turned and walked away. When he went home that night, he went to his dad and said while holding up his slightly bruised hand and said, “Dad, you should see the other guy.” After a brief conversation he went to bed and to his amazement between his self confidence and his knowledge of bullies he was never bullied again. But that is not the whole story … As the boy grew into a man he also had a child of his own. One day his boy came to him to talk about being pushed around and bullied. He told him how he was bullied as he tried to stand up to another boy, told of how he was bullied on the playground and how when he went to the teacher the teacher made light of the behavior and didn’t do anything. Dad now looked at his son and said, here is what you do, when that boy bullies you, you say one time, don’t do this any more or you will be sorry, then he taught his son how to punch just as his dad had done for him. He explained how when he punched the bully that he would get into trouble at the school office and how he, the Dad, would have to pretend to be upset with him for fighting but would be inwardly proud of him for standing up to the bully. Right on schedule the next day he received a phone call from the school that his son was fighting at school and that he would be expelled for three days and that he needed to be picked up from school. Dad did exactly as he said, went to the school, was appropriately upset with his son for fighting and when they left his son told him the story of how he punched the bully and knocked him down and how it felt. They went for ice cream and laughed together. The boy was never bullied again because he now understood bullies are truly sissies who only pick on people who won’t or can’t stick up for themselves. And therein lays the appropriate response to all bullies. They are all insecure fearful people who are afraid and need to dominate another in order to feel good about themselves. They will always pick on weaker people until the weak understand that they are never, were never and don’t have to be weak again. It also shows how when we teach our children to be empowered and to stand up for themselves they not only stand up for themselves but also become people who can and will help others with the power they have discovered within themselves. Bullying is for sissies. And if we will teach our children and our people how to stand up for themselves, how to be self empowered and how to stand up to all bullies that our lives and the lives of people we know will only get better. and I believe that my teaching people to be self empowered is one of the greatest tools I can offer to anyones life. I am Steve Sapato and I teach self empowerment.

I just had to deal with a bully... have you?

It is interesting to me that we spend so much time lecturing bullies how they shouldn't bully. That's like telling people who shout not to shout. Because right now and probably for some time to come that's who they will be and we won't change that with one lecture or one go sit in the corner.

What does change them? Nothing. Deal with it. Nothing. It will take counseling, therapy and surrounding them with superior people to make any significant change. Do you have that much time?

Well here is what I know. We can help the bullied people much faster, easier and with more wonderful results because they want the help.

I just took a phone call from someone who wanted something. They first asked. Then they gave me what had happened in the past. Then they told what they could do for me. Then they said what they had done fore the last person. And each time I said I want to go in a different direction. I want to try something else. I need to see what is going to happen. And each time instead of listening, hearing, this person kept pushing their agenda. Kept pushing what they wanted. Kept pressuring me knowing that I would give in, give up or let them do what they wanted to do.

Instead, I stayed strong. Knew what I wanted. Knew what I was looking for, hoping for and desired. I knew the direction I wanted to go and it wasn't in the same direction as they wanted me to go.

But like most bullies until I stood my ground, until I said No! Until I was strong enough to face them down they would keep pushing.

And that is what we need to teach our children, our friends, our associates our families. Stand and be strong.

Bullies exist because good people stay silent. Bullies exist because good people step aside. Bullies exist because good people don't say NO!

Whether it's on the playground in grade school, high school, where you work, where you play, or your own home we have to learn to say, NO.

And when we learn to say No and mean it then we can face up to the bully, the situation and make our world a better place. And when we stand up it will encourage others and maybe, one day, No More Bullies will become a movement and then, the bullies will be afraid of us.

Now the gift you are given is this, use positive words to talk to everyone. Encourage everyone. Lift them up. Give them praise. Empower your children, your spouse, your friends, your coworkers and help get them strong in their minds and hearts and then they will one day be strong enough to say, no, you can't say that, do that or make me afraid any more.

Bullies exist only because the good people haven't learned to say, No more.

Steve Sapato is an I am an expert in Mental Prosperity and bringing you to the place you always wanted to be. www.mentalprosperityblog.com

Bullies will always exist. Now what?

Yes, I said it! Bullies will always exist! Bullies are a fact of life.  Bullies are us and and sometimes we are them.
Now what? Now is when we start teaching our children, our friends, our co-workers how to deal with bullying. What are our choices? Chances? Odds? What should we do?
One thing I know we cannot do in today's society is to count on others for help. Once upon a time if we were in trouble in America we could count on people to come to our rescue. Now it is the rare breed to stands out and helps someone else. We have been programmed and scared into thinking that if we help we will be the victim. We have been scared into thinking that if I stop to help that person who's car broke down that their friends will jump out of the bushes and beat me, rape me rob me.

So? Without someone to help us, how do we deal with bullies? We do it through our own power. Through self empowerment. Through the power of US!

I know, stupid isn't it. How will I, a girl, a small guy, stand up to the bullying tactics of two three or four others.
We do it by knowing who we are and recognizing in them the weaknesses that cause them to be bullies. By sometimes doing something as simple as, standing up, looking them in the eyes and seeing the morons they are and then turning and walking away.
Sometimes it will be that we will be the hero and when we see bullying we will stand next to the person being bullied and with the power of two we can face down the bullies or we might just say to one another, hey! This place isn't that great, how about we go to another place. And we leave again.

That tactic makes the bullied person feel supported and not alone.

The people who commit suicide, in my opinion, have significant other problems in their lives in order to commit suicide but the fact that the bullying pushed them over the edge is what we focus on.

But the truth is, if we allow ourselves to be bullied we lose self respect and with the loss of that self respect come other issues and where does it stop? Or will it actually promote us or the children we interact with to become bullies.

So again, what is the answer? Self empowerment, support, banding together, and sometimes even facing the bullies down so we know we can be in charge of our own lives once again.

What will you do the next time you are bullied or see someone being bullied? I hope you will look deep into your soul and make it a point to help or overcome and know that you are still a valued person with things to offer this world that the bullies will never understand.

Why Bullies?

It seems many of us are born to be bullies because we bully people from a very early age. But the truth is, bullying is learned just like everything else we do. Sometimes there are psychological or mental problems that cause us to develop with certain traits but most of the people learn to become bullies because of how they are treated.

Why do bullies exist? Because the strong do dominate our little physical world until the intelligent can figure out a way to stop from being bullied. I am sure clubs were discovered to beat the bigger caveman who was always the stronger man and always got his way. Then along came all of the other inventions that make the smaller man into the bully by way of those same inventions. And the reason again is that, if we are treated a certain way we will become a certain way.

So why do bullies still exist? because we continue not to train all of our people from infancy how they should treat others. We don't teach them how to relate, interact, communicate. We don't teach them how to succeed in negotiations and how important it is to be able to give and take to achieve maximum results. We should be teaching children what a loving relationship looks like in kindergarten and elementary school and on into high school and even college. We should be training the children on how to succeed and how to love and how to manifest goodness and greatness through cooperation.

And still, because of our innate nature some bullies would still exist but what they would find is that they would not be in power like they are in today's world. They would not stand a chance against the bond of the group and they would find themselves outside the circle instead of in control of the little circle the command by their bullying.

And I recently read some things about bad language and it reminded me once again how we lack the skills to develop much of this. It was about a school book that contained bad language and yet it was allowed to be used in grade school and the majority of thought on the subject was, "they will hear, already hear language and words like that. What's the big deal?"

And the big deal is, we don't expect more out of one another as much as we settle for less. We don't expect the cream of the crop as much as we will settle for the dregs and say, this is acceptable because it exists this way and we should accept it as it is.

The problem with accepting things as they are is that we will always settle for a little less each time. We will always allow the circumstance to digress a little each time. We will always continue to fall a little further from the pinnacle and keep telling ourselves, well, the last person stopped here to it's ok if I don't make it to where they stopped.

And that is where and why we find that bullies still exist and will continue to exist. We don't expect them not to.

Steve Sapato is a speaker and author on Bullying from schools to offices and also teaches how to become a Great Manager to corporations looking to excel.